AP

‘and tonight in the light of the gathering rain, I could hear creation groan.

and a sigh rose up from the streets of the city to the foot of heaven’s throne.

and the people hear the sound of a sweet refrain — an absolution in the fray.

it tells of the death of the one for the lives of the many

more than any picket sign could say.’

a haiku

All I want to be,
is someone that makes new things.
And thinks about them.

-John Maeda

comfort in a prayer for mercy

“The Lord reveal himself more and more to us in the face of his Son Jesus Christ and magnify the power of his grace in cherishing those beginnings of grace in the midst of our corruptions, and sanctify the consideration of our own infirmities to humble us, and of his tender mercy to encourage us.

And may he persuade us that, since he has taken us into the covenant of grace, he will not cast us off for those corruptions which, as they grieve his Spirit, so they make us vile in our own eyes.

And because Satan labors to obscure the glory of his mercy and hinder our comfort by discouragements, the Lord add this to the rest of his mercies, that we may not lose any portion of comfort that is laid up for us in Christ.

And, may he grant that the prevailing power of his Spirit in us should be an evidence of the truth of grace begun, and a pledge of final victory, at that time when he will be all in all, in all his, for all eternity. Amen.”

—Richard Sibbes, The Bruised Reed (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 1998), 127-28

creating

Working in a lab and doing science-y things all day, I often dream of a creative job, making a living selling things I’ve made with my hands.  But then I worry that adding a business side to it might ruin the enjoyment I derive from creating beautiful things and just playing around.

Like the time I took voice lessons for a semester in college and that voice teacher sucked all the joy out of singing for me.  Gone.  I had to get out of there, and once I did;  I went back to singing in the car, singing while I do dishes, singing while I putter around the house.

So.  What do I do?

just one more

carbon lily

And now, a little plug for a new singer/piano player I’ve been enjoying, Jenny Dalton.  I love her voice and her unique melodic progressions.  You can get her music from Amazon at this link.

…and here’s one of her remixes.  good running music!

[awash in hope]

“I don’t care if anyone comes for me,” said Edward.

“But that’s dreadful,” said the old doll.  “There’s no point in going on if you feel that way.  No point at all.  You must be filled with expectancy.  You must be awash in hope.  You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next.”

“I am done with being loved,” Edward told her.  “I’m done with loving.  It’s too painful.”

“Pish,” said the old doll.  “Where is your courage?”

“Somewhere else, I guess,” said Edward.

“You disappoint me,” she said.  “You disappoint me greatly.  If you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless.”

["someone will come for you.  But first you must open your heart."]

-Kate DeCamillo,

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

I picked up this children’s book about a china rabbit while I hung out in Barnes & Noble the other day.  I’ve scarce read anything in any book so moving as this passage, near the final pages.  It appears one might have much to learn from dolls and china rabbits.

everything sad is coming untrue

You may or may not notice that edit on the last post; but either way I’ll just say this one thing and have done with it:  Writing about emotions on the internet is risky, but writing about unreasonable, confusing, and fleeting crushes is just stupid.  I’m not pining away over anyone.  In fact, I’ve experienced more joy these past few months since graduation than I could ever deserve.

The last year has been one of the hardest, best, most growing times of my life.  There is still so far to go, but as I look back at all the pain and tears and loneliness I’ve walked through, I can’t help but rejoice that my Heavenly Father allowed the suffering to start making me more like Him.

And with that, I think I’m done talking about it all.  At least in this forum.  I want to write about new life and grace and redemption and creating beauty and the joy found in small things each day.

For now, I’ll leave you with these lyrics from Jason Gray’s new LP:

In the way the shadows hide
When the sun begins to rise
And in the way the world comes alive
At the first hint of spring
The frozen rivers run
The death of winter comes undone
Whispers of Kingdom Come
While the bluebird sings

Everything
Everything that I thought I knew
Everything
Everything sad is coming untrue

well.

It’s much too late and I’m trying to power through a few hundred more stitches on this baby blanket — I’m knitting it for a friend who had a baby recently and my mom is leaving first thing in the morning to go see her.  I’ve probably put about 60 hours into this thing already…

I have some cool pictures from the weekend of the Fourth, but it’s too late and I’m too tired to mess with Flickr links and HTML right now.  Another day.  We had a great time with my aunt and uncle.  Adam escaped yet another year of firecracker debauchery with only minor burns and zero casualties — a miracle.  Every year, my dad vows that he won’t be allowed any firecrackers the next year.  And then the next 4th of July rolls around and he forgets.  Just like that.

I got the new Derek Webb album this afternoon.  You should probably go buy it if you haven’t yet done so — he continues to outdo himself.  This stuff is the way Christian music should be; gut-wrenchingly honest and beautiful.

I guess the real thing I wanted to say in all of this is as follows:  Sometimes being a woman just sucks.  Especially when one has strong feelings for someone and no idea if he’ll ever reciprocate.