suddenly

I don’t know what’s come over me. It’s the most peculiar sensation. A few minutes ago, she asked to pray for me. She thanked God for the responsibility I’ve been carrying. She was self-deprecating and I hated it. I wanted to give her credit for all that she’s done, and I told her that I couldn’t be here doing this without her. … And. I. Finally. Believe. It.

God forgive my hateful, huge pride. I’ve been judging her weaknesses and thinking I’d be better off on my own and feeling resentful. I am weak in areas that are much more profound and far-reaching. I need her here in order to learn what God has for me to learn, and to be shaped into the likeness of Christ. And I love her. I care about her. And I want to help her in any way I can.

The Lord’s mercy abounds to me, the chief of sinners. I can’t even begin to comprehend the work that he’s doing in my heart.

[The victory has already been completed in Christ! It is finished. I am already and not yet formed in His likeness. The Timeless One already sees me there in eternity, standing before Him spotless and bright. He will certainly bring this to pass.]

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