I’ve been listening to this sermon series — Pray Like Jesus — today. Mark Driscoll is realistic about pain and life. God is using these thoughts and the words of Christ to teach me how to talk to him honestly and rightly.
I’m learning that prayer is for changing my heart, not God’s mind. I’m learning that I cannot hide my brokenness and fear and pain from my Father. And I’m learning how much He cares.
Today was far from easy. I may be getting a little better at hiding my feelings when I’m around others, but I’m still breaking down as soon as I’m alone. My roommate doesn’t know what to say to me, so she says nothing. No one really knows what to say… Grieving is one of the loneliest things.
I talked to my mom and broke down to her while I confessed how scared I am about going away next semester. I could just forget it all and graduate in December and go home to be with my family for awhile and get back on my feet slowly. I’m afraid that going overseas this soon after everything will launch me into depression or another spiritual valley. How will I know what to do?
” But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness…
Let not the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the pit close its mouth over me.
Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
Hide not your face from your servant;
for I am in distress; make haste to answer me.”