crack the darkest sky wide open

I feel very young.  Perhaps this feeling, this subjective fact, is dredged up by circumstances that I have no precedent for processing.

I do not know what I am becoming.

How does anyone know what to do next?  I read this NYT article today.  It contrasted a type of life lived out of an overall purpose and a corresponding allocation of time and energy to achieve that purposed thing, with an idea called ‘the summoned life’ wherein life is seen as unpredictable, but filled with possibility.  Rather than presuming to know where one should end up, life is comprised of present situations which provide specific opportunities and the responsibility to choose what is needed and useful, both for oneself and for the world.  Where are the circumstances summoning?

I think I’ve begun to fall more into the latter mindset, despite the uncertainty and fear it brings me. What that article failed to take into account is the role of the Spirit’s work in a human heart.  And that has made all the difference.

[If I were to spend less time in front of a screen, oh the things that could be done.  music, books, art, beauty.  some of that is inside the screens, but the taking in is too facile and the producing is crowded out.]

Advertisements

One thought on “crack the darkest sky wide open

  1. I think that is probably a good thing to fall into. While I would think that living out of a feeling of purpose is a good thing in some respects, I think it contributes to/reinforces our tendencies to self-absorption – when we believe that our lives must somehow follow a certain path, and then something gets in the way of that, we quickly fall into end-justifying-the-means decision-making.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s