I feel very young. Perhaps this feeling, this subjective fact, is dredged up by circumstances that I have no precedent for processing.
I do not know what I am becoming.
How does anyone know what to do next? I read this NYT article today. It contrasted a type of life lived out of an overall purpose and a corresponding allocation of time and energy to achieve that purposed thing, with an idea called ‘the summoned life’ wherein life is seen as unpredictable, but filled with possibility. Rather than presuming to know where one should end up, life is comprised of present situations which provide specific opportunities and the responsibility to choose what is needed and useful, both for oneself and for the world. Where are the circumstances summoning?
I think I’ve begun to fall more into the latter mindset, despite the uncertainty and fear it brings me. What that article failed to take into account is the role of the Spirit’s work in a human heart. And that has made all the difference.
[If I were to spend less time in front of a screen, oh the things that could be done. music, books, art, beauty. some of that is inside the screens, but the taking in is too facile and the producing is crowded out.]