[journal excerpts]

17 March, 2012

“It’s incredibly humbling to no longer have any control whatsoever over what is said about me, maybe even ironic in some sense.  Why does that matter so much to me, how I’m remembered?  Because I care so much about these people, I guess.  It seems to heap cruelness on misery to prevent me from saying any goodbyes on my own terms. “

“Oh Father, forgive me weak, prideful, stumbling heart.  Cleanse your servant and draw me near to you in this time.  Show me your hand in all this, at work in my life, and help me to rest in the shadow of Your wing.  You are my only comfort and hope and peace.”

18 March, 2012

“My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith.” James 2:1

“Are you getting this? I didn’t pray for God’s will to be done in my life, or, at any rate, I didn’t mean it. I prayed to be rescued, not redeemed. I prayed for it to get easier, not that I would be shaped in significant ways. I prayed for the waiting to be over, instead of trying to learn something about patience or anything else for that matter.”  -shauna niequiest [?]

grace still finds us; love restores us.

19 March, 2012

 “I place so much value in success, and that’s not what God values.  He doesn’t value the intelligent, the strong, the brave or independent.  The Father looks on the meek, the poor in spirit, those who mourn, and blesses them.  He loves the peacemakers, the merciful.  God doesn’t see my depth of knowledge or my competence and feel joy; he longs for humility and love and grace toward others to invade my heart.”

“Distinctions blur. Quit your tents. Pray without ceasing.”  -annie dillard



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